My middle son (who is self named Handsome Son) and his wonderful wife Dilly (derived from the acronym DIL (daughter in law) and their wonderful daughter, the littlest princess are on vacation this week.
We are sure that they can hardly concentrate on having fun what with worrying about the farm and all...
so to relieve their concern, the following post has been written by those in a position to do so.
Dear Handsome Son, Dilly and Littlest Princess,
Hope you are enjoying your vacation!
Here are a few updates on the farm in case you are homesick....
Your Dad was hauled away by the Feds yesterday...
the charge was "Producing Too Much Methane". We tried in a brilliant legal maneuver, to prove it was the cows that produce methane but they insisted that their technology indicates it is him alone.
Next we tried to bail him out of those awful jail conditions...
but he fought us off valiantly.
He said he will try to "cope" with doing his time in the pen...
air conditioning, free cable TV, a "rec room" and lights out at 9 p.m.
He seems disturbingly happy.
We are sure it is a symptom of his captivity. Given the fact that most days he gets up before dawn and labors away for 12 to 14 hours in the heavy sun, why wouldn't he want to get out of jail and get back to that? It makes no sense really.
All of this has left your mom to do the heavy lifting, which isn't quite how things worked out, as today she got jumped by a 700 pound steer while her back was turned, slamming her into the ground which fortunately was very soft due to a recent rain and the fact that this is a "dumping" ground of manure for the grass fed steers.
After she got up and spat out a lot of questionable stuff she seemed OK...her T shirt looked cool on the back with two huge hoof prints trailing down it. Gives new meaning to the phrase
"Eat **** and DIE! doesn't it? She did one but not the other,
Given all the upheaval, the day to day running of the farm has been turned over to Rosie Red Princess and Robot Boy who made an executive decision to move the whole thing from reality world to the virtual world.
You can now find the family farm on Farmville at Facebook where the farming is finally going ever so much better!
In terms of the practical day to day matters an executive decision has been made in your absence and Dixie Dawg and Turkey Lurkey have been appointed to oversee matters in the interim until your return.
We hope you are finding your vacation satisfactory and as you can see...
no need to worry here!
We have everything under control....